Merry Christmas

Christmas 2010

Almost a whole month without any posts. Oh my. Next year I should probably just officially take a break during this time, rather than having it hanging over me all month. I appreciate everyone hanging in there with me.

On the whole, the Christmas part of this month has actually been quite nice. We enjoyed our annual trip to Great Wolf Lodge with friends earlier this month (and had a great time with Jason’s friend Jack from Ocean City who joined us to help celebrate Jason’s birthday).

Got the decorations up fairly early so that we could enjoy them. The boys were a big help figuring out where to put them and seemed to really enjoy re-discovering our favorites. Got a “too big” tree which needed to have the top cut off (after receiving assurances from the 14 year old that it was NOT too big at all) but the enjoyment that Jason has gotten out of it has made it more than worth it despite the fact that it takes over half the room and mostly covers the fireplace.

I was really able to let go of some things but still struggled with letting go of others. There is a lot going on in my personal life right now yet I still feel as if I should be doing more than I am. I am really trying to de-clutter and that means that the house is a mess (with holiday decorations on top of it all). I also came down with a cold, so I have not had the energy that I would like to tackle much of what is going on.

All that and I still question whether it is “ok” to “go easy” on myself. Which then leads to the question why do I feel I need to have to have an “excuse” to go easy? And why do I think it is better to go hard on myself? Not sure exactly what that accomplishes other than to make me exhausted.

This is such a strange season…so many wonderful, joyous times and a chance to get out of the everyday routine. So many special traditions to enjoy. Yet it is also a season of increased expectations and stresses, from both inside and out.

So as I come into the final stretch of this holiday season, I just hope that I can accept it for what it was and is. Messy, stressful, joyful, fun, tiring, hectic, peaceful…because to expect it to be anything else than what it is an exercise in frustration. And maybe that is the biggest gift that I can give myself this year.

And on that note, Merry Christmas to you and yours! I hope that you are able to experience and enjoy your holiday for what it is rather than what you want it to be. Because that is where we discover true peace.